Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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why was the black man forced to sit at the back of the bus ? it was a busy day.

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

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What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

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The queen is killed on sunday there are three suspects the cheif the princess and the butler The princess' said she was getting lunch The cheif said he was making lunch The butler said je was getting the mail So who did it A: the butler they dont diliever mail on sunday

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I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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