Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what has 2 legs and bleeds alot half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red violets are blue i am muslim

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black and a white man enter the bar all the people jump on the black guy to beat him up when the white guy is geting free vodka

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. wait wut are u a bitch Violet are not freakin blue its Purple

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Mexican, a black guy, and a Muslim are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving? Their friend Keith.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A baby seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

question:How do you call a Russian with Ak47. answer: Spetznaz

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Bra*don Che*ey is tall. Facebook me please... Im desperate

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops