If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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josh roberts got the d in geog

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Why did little Billy fall off his bike? Anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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What's worse than people reposting the same joke all the time? The holocaust.

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Sometimes I question my sanity... Occasionally it replies.

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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why was the boy sleeping in the basement? he was brought over from ethiopia to become a child sex slave and was now being help against his will in a basement

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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