A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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Why did the beautiful woman marry the ugly poor old man? She was blonde & was therefor not aware that he wasn't rich nor younge.

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What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

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What do you call it when you mix a raccoon with an 18-wheeler? A bloody mess on the highway. That smells like cheese

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Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

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why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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how did the man die from falling out of the window his angry x- friend pushed him.

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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John and Henk are walking down the street. John kills a man, the cops are coming and John runs away. Why didn't Henk ran away? Henk was a rock

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What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Therefore no one knew why his name was Fuzzy Wuzzy.

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A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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