What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

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How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

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An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

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Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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What did the falling bridge say to the other bridge? Well bridges can't talk but if it could it, then it would say AHH! I am falling

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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A racist guy walks into a bar. Gets drunk, and cracks jokes. Then proceeds to get the shit kicked out of him.

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what do you call a black man at a school. coach.

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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