What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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What did one volcano say to the other? Hey.... wana get some lunch... later, not now of course it's WAAAAY TOO EARLY!

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Q:Why did the retarded student get called down to the office? A:Because both his parents died in a car accident.

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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kknocckkck knockckkckccck hue's theeeair? TTThhe pOOOliCCee. fffor whaaa? yyouu rr arreesstedd forrr drrunkkkc dddrivvinnng! Puuut urerre frreaakkki'n hannnddss uppp!

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What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

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A Rock accidentally fed a giraffe his fetuses conceived by a box of glue from Jewish Heritage that was made from marker sharpeners that fed paper to elephants while strumming a box of tissues to wipe up the mess from a box of chocolates Forest Gump feeds on your soul while a rock accidentally feeds a giraffe.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a dick just for you

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

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What do you call an indian driving a plane? A pilot.

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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