What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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What happens when a black man spills all of his grape soda? He cleans it up and recycles the empty can

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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david your girlfriend has a nice ass

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Once upon a time, The end.

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tom pauling

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What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

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What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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