a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

Knock Knock WHO'S THERE?????!!! y u mad? u have been knocking at the doors for 5 hours now, mom

Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

What do you call a black man with pearl white teeth ? A man with good dental hygiene.

a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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