What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

thumb_up thumb_down +2

YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two muffins are sitting in an oven, they get burned because the oven was left on for to long and they end up being thrown away.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops