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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

I was looking out the window on a Sunday morning. The coffee was fresh, and the air was moist. I had recieved a phone call last night on the contents of a briefcase that was to be left on my front door today. The explination was vague, and I was told to enjoy my last day. Then I died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

yes... that's the joke

so three men walk into a bar and one is a priest.

An Irish man walks past a bar... it could happen...

Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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