A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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If you have a large penis.give this joke a thumbs up. ( :

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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Why was the dog crying? Because his owners hated him and called him stupid.

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hey

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School

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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anti jokes are for fags

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What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

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i am and me is i

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my mom died because she was morbidly obese

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Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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