Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

"I see," said the blind man to the deaf man.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

whats hard, its not what you think a penis

That's what she didn't say

I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

A. Knock, Knock B. Come in

civil rights

Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a red light and it was his turn to cross.

why did the dog bark at the picture because it was ugly

Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...