What's worse than a baby falling? A baby fall in a pit of tar What did the baby say on the way down? "weeeeeee"

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down

Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

thumb_up thumb_down

I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down

♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

thumb_up thumb_down

Cheese stick

thumb_up thumb_down

just sit down and dont be a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down

Why i didn't bought the "Anti Joke The Book".. Because the joke in it aren't funny..

thumb_up thumb_down

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Obama getting elected in 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

thumb_up thumb_down -2

yo mama so old she was a waiter at the last supper.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops