what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Protoss player say when he lost to a Terran player? I concede defeat. You simply have a greater mastery over the game than I.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Jimmy upset? There is a frog taped to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the chicken cross the road he didnt he was hit by a van

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My parents died!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse than a worm in your apple? the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust? two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Farmers are outstanding in their fields

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops