1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

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Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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Wigan.

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kknocckkck knockckkckccck hue's theeeair? TTThhe pOOOliCCee. fffor whaaa? yyouu rr arreesstedd forrr drrunkkkc dddrivvinnng! Puuut urerre frreaakkki'n hannnddss uppp!

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

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A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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Person 1: I have one question: What are those?!?!?!?!?! Person 2 : Their shoes you Dimwit. Person 1: (runs away crying) -by Mekkhi

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How do you scare a bonde? tell her you want to be her uterus?

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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Hey, you wanna hear a joke? The holocaust.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

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What do you call a pencil that's been broken in half? 2 pencils

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Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

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why did the man start living on the street? he lost his job, his wife left him, and had his identity stolen.

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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My tractor broke down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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