Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

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A black man walks into an abbatoir.

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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Okay, one second.

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wanna hear a good anti-joke? no, anti-jokes are a waste of time.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

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What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

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Where did Sally go in the bombing? Everywhere

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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