What's big and messy? A big mess

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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civil rights

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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One time I masturbated by myself

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What's gray and comes in buckets? An elephant

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Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Why are black people ghetto? Because they are black.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

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what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

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why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

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knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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