doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

An Irishman walks out of a bar

Why was maddison sad Becasue he was born with a fucking gay name

What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

whats worse than a worm in your apple? the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust? two worms in your apple

a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

Jesus was a good guy

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

What do you call a mexican driving a plane? Well.. nothing because you can't drive plane's but if a Mexican man was able to FLY a plane, he would be a pilot.

your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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