Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

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The elephant and the mouse was gonna go swimming at the lake, but they realize the Elephant forgot his swimming trunks! Mouse: Do you really need two trunks? Elephant: Oh well I can do with this one... but its not a swimming trunk! Mouse: Huh? Moral: Huh?

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

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What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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What did the hispanic guy say after he took a bite out of a McDonald's hot n' spicy chicken sandwhich. I'm lovin' it.

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How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A **** load! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair).

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What did the little gril with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why do Native Americans own Casinos? Because it's a very profitable business situation.

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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Knock knok ! Whos there? Buhu ! Buhu Who? Why are you crying?

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

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Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

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42, that is all

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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How do you save a black man from drowning? I don't know GOOD!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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