What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

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Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

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A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

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The big male boar went out the forest, saw a group of women and start to swank.

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How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Their ancestral heritage

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God

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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Justin's hair

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How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops