A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? One, men will screw anything.

Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

a man made a beautiful colorful picture and hit print. the printer then grew a mind of its own and did the most horriffic and evil thing ever; he printed it in black and white.

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

There is a middle-eastern man in customs with a turban and a briefcase and he is profiled by his race which is a sad fact of our society.

How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

your mom

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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