Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

just sit down and dont be a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's worse than getting raped the guy who raped you has aids

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What has 9 arms and sucks? Def lepeord

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why does Jordan Abu aita have a small pepe? Because he is black

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do u call a black man a black man

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops