whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than reading a bad joke Realizing it's yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the penis enter the vagina? They were trying for a baby

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops