A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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Justin's hair

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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Jerry.

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: It depends who is the owner of the car. .

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Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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Your mother's so fat, her blood type was Ragu

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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Why did the boy laugh? Because someone told him a joke.

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

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Whats 9 + 10? 19.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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