Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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One girl said to her friends, "LOL guys wait for me." She ran to a pile of corpses. The girl was about to lose her sanity as she was in denial when her friends had died. She held hands of two of the corpses and smiled and pretended everything was ok.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

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Moral"We all miss someone sometimes during our life, but just remain patient as you aim again, reload and hit that someone!"

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Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

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what is red and lies in all four corners of the room? a baby that was playing with a chainsaw.

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Women's rights.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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I leave you with a riddle, I am round. I am an orange. What am I?

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What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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A black guy walks into a bar. He falls unconscious and an ambulance is quickly called to bring him to the hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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