If a little boy teleported to mars how fast would he get there? Little boys are incapable of breaking down their molecular structure in order to send their individual particles faster than the speed of light in any given direction. Thus this question is illogical and can not be answered.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

knock knock who's there me me who? me me me me who? me me me me me me who? and the more the joke continues the less funny and more annoying it gets

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

where does a person with one leg work? anywere

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Give her a time-out. Throwing sharp objects is not okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Whats the difference between a watermelon and a infants head? A: One is fun to beat a with a hammer, and the other is the infants head.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -22

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -22

John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the bee do when bill tried to slap it it stung bill and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I have a black guy on my family tree. He's my cousin.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Zombies eat brains! (You're safe)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: what do you call a drunk blond? A: a cab

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops