Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

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Charlotte Bobcats

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I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

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Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

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why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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