What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock, Knock? Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are you crying? I'm not crying. Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is it worse than a bee sting ? -Two bee stings What 's worse than two bee stings ? -The holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust ? -3 bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did Colussi miss 2 years of school? -Because he died

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q:What did the man say when he walked into a bar. A: Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man walks into town and takes a shit!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the black boy late for school? He missed the bus

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did Sally get for Christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

All this fuss about drink driving is a load of crap! I frequently drink and drive, and I've never had an accident, apart from one small collision in which my wife was paralysed from the neck down.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

If three men were rowing a rowboat backwards across your front lawn, and six of the four back wheels fell off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? 17 because footballs don't have feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Theres this guy that got pulled over and the guy in the car said: I have AIDS the cop said: Oh, really when did you get them? I don't have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What's The Difference Between A Refridgerator And The Holocaust ? Not Much.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops