How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

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"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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