whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

How do you get money out of a Jew? You convince him your cause is worthwhile.

A blonde, red head and brunette decide the jump off a cliff....... They all die

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? You eat a pizza.

There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

- kellen says to bill "your a fruit cake" - bill say to raj "your a gypsy" - raj says to kellen "you have gingevitis" R.I.P kellen 2012

How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

Why was the black man pulled over? Racism still lingers in today's society.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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