Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

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Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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what the difference between Obama and osama bin laden nothing

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

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A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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