5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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The WNBA

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Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

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So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

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What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

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An asian loses to you in starcraft..

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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