How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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How do you get a n***r out of a tree? Cut the rope

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What color is red paint? Red

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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Misner is a twat.

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

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what's the difference between "rita , sue and bob too ," and rocky II ? rocky II is about boxing

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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