The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

whats worse than 8 babies nailed to a tree? nothing but oca mom is going to be pissed that her kids are nailed to a tree

Inbreeding is no laughing matter but damn is it funny.

A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

Knock Knock Not Yet

Morning wood.

whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

Hi

Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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