What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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a woman leaves the kitchen.......

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Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

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Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

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The banana, the raspberry and the pear arrived to the party, then the carrot and the tomato arrived as well, but when the apple and the orange arrived the banana left... ...This where just getting to fruity...

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

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whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

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Harry Chappell raped someone

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

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what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

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When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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