Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

Poop swing

Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Yo mama is so depressing. That is so sad.

What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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