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Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

Whats worse than death? Living in Agonising pain for the rest of the life that happens to be reading this statement.

Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

what did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? nothing because they were both cupcakes.

How many batteries does it take to run a car 1 a car battery

You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

jwe

WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

What has 9 arms and sucks? Def lepeord

One girl said to her friends, "LOL guys wait for me." She ran to a pile of corpses. The girl was about to lose her sanity as she was in denial when her friends had died. She held hands of two of the corpses and smiled and pretended everything was ok.

What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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