A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Take off your shoes.

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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The original "Chicken cross road" joke is a Anti joke in itself.

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whats yellow? lots of things.

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Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

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Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

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Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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