What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

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how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

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How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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A handicapp walks into a bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

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Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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why was 7 afraid of 8, cause 8,9,10

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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WUT SMELLS ? my poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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