How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

Billy Cundiff.

today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

*you're

How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

A handicapp walks into a bar

You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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