An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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I had sex with my mother in law

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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penis

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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jwe

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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A black guy walks down the street. He sees a lamp, picks it up and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he has 3 wishes. The black says he wants to be thin, white, and get alot of pussy. The genie says, congadulations your a condom!!

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canada

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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I leave you with a riddle, I am round. I am an orange. What am I?

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What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

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What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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One girl said to her friends, "LOL guys wait for me." She ran to a pile of corpses. The girl was about to lose her sanity as she was in denial when her friends had died. She held hands of two of the corpses and smiled and pretended everything was ok.

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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Moral"We all miss someone sometimes during our life, but just remain patient as you aim again, reload and hit that someone!"

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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