3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo momma is so stupid when she drove to Disney World she saw that said "Disney World Left" so she turned on her turn signal and made a left turn. She promptly arrived at Disney World but realized she had left her wallet at the hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

thumb_up thumb_down +4

who ever is reading this....

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock WHO'S THERE?????!!! y u mad? u have been knocking at the doors for 5 hours now, mom

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A ginger was with his friends

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops