how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

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What's fat and ginger? My dog.

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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A man is balancing on a bar. But it's a bar where people drink so I don't know how that works.

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awkies when u see danni white fingering jacob :0;0;0;0, and jamie fingering himself..............

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Hi what I lug you

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why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

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How do u know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out a tampon it has no cotton on it.

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which one does not belong light bulb i have read an agree to the terms of service view terms of service submit

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What did the peanut say to the jelly

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When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

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How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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