What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

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RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? gang rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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