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Q:What did the man say when he walked into a bar. A: Ouch

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Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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Q: What's worst than the Holocaust? A: 6 million Jews

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"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

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Hey do you want to hear the joke about my d**k?? I cant tell it because it's to long

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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What did the Pornstar say to his wife? He concluded that a divorce was the way forward for both of them as, seeming as he was a pornstar, he was almost certainly having extra-maritial sexual intercourse, unhealthy for any working relationship.

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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whats up fuch you bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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