dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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you and your family will die tonight

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What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Whats white and sticky and falls from the sky? The Cumming of the lord

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

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What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

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( . Y . )

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Snooki

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Why did the boy laugh? Because someone told him a joke.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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