what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

What has two arms and two legs? A human being.

How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

Q) How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colorblind

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

I had a friend named Joshua, he died of AIDs, cancer, and several other diseases.

why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

Why did the black person got to Wal-mart? Wal-mart has relatively low prices

Why didn't the girl make the basketball team? She has no arms or legs.

-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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