A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

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JAMIE STEGMAN IS A MASSSIVE DERP Jess Pots. YOUR A NOOB

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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Why were trash man's hands dirty? He got shot in the leg and desperately tried to get the bullet out with his hands and got blood all over them and ass he was running to the hospital he tripped into shit.

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a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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Why did the boy cry? Because his mother died of a heart attack.

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What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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canada

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That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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BIG PENIS

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A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

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Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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jwe

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What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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