What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

-Knock Knock -Come in!

What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

What's up brah brah

Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

What's brown and smelly? Poop.

Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

Your mom is so fat...

What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

What happen when you put a Ciara and a Charlie together? They have sex.

A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

why do i love my iphone because its a very versatile electronic device with many uses and i can get the anti-joke app

A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

Rigo your a stupid ass

I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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