Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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Whats funnier than 24, 69

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'Knock Knock' 'Who's there?' 'My name is Boo, I'm sorry,I think I was given the wrong address, I'll be on my way now' Boo walks away from the unsuspecting person's front door and goes to the next house along in the hope of finding the house he was originally searching for.

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BIG PENIS

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A police officer.

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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