how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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A black man walks into an abbatoir.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

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Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

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How do you stop the unstoppable You dont

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

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A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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