Make little things count Teach midgets math

How do you get money out of a Jew? You convince him your cause is worthwhile.

How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

Why was the black man pulled over? Racism still lingers in today's society.

If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

A blackman and an asian are walking down the street they pass eachother exchange looks and continue on with their day

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

What did the lone KKK member do when he passed 10 large, muscular black men in the street? He did not tell them that he was a member of the KKK.

a fish swimming in the water swims

What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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