Why do people insist on drinking diet soda meanwhile eating extremely unhealthy food? Because some people like the taste of diet soda over regular soda.

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What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

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What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

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What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

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What's black and crawls around on eight legs? An octopus that just inked itself.

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P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road ? because half way acroos he got hit by a car and the animal heath care had to take him away and put him down

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Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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hextech crafting too opieop

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

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what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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